2008-10-16 08:25 | One or the other.

I adore the hell out of Alara Rogers' comments.  She usually comments at Pandagon; today's gem of awesome is:

The fact that we only hear about drunken ex-boyfriends when they beat up and rape their ex-girlfriends is why we might think that a drunken ex would be dangerous to a woman, but telling women that they shouldn't trust men that they loved once… that basically boils down to saying "Men are evil." And you know, when people make the argument that men are evil I want them to follow through. I want them to admit that men should have a curfew and men should be restricted in their movements and men should be treated like dangerous animals. Because if women cannot trust men they *love*, as a matter of *routine*–if we can say, looking at a situation, "well of course she shouldn't have trusted him! He was a man, what did she expect? Even if they used to be lovers, hell, *especially* if they used to be lovers she shouldn't have let him into her home", then we also need to be saying "Men are dangerous animals and should be treated as such." You know, the way we treat pet tigers. But if men are human, if men deserve human rights, if men *aren't* automatically rapists, if most men can be assumed to be good people… then women should never, ever, ever be punished or castigated for trusting the wrong man.

2008-09-25 10:29 |

Sweet Machine at Shapely Prose posts From the Archives: On Being a No-Name Blogger Using Her Real Name, and I want to pluck out a part of it for posterity:

'Cause the thing is, you and the guys you hang out with may not really mean anything by it when you talk about crazy bitches and dumb sluts and heh-heh-I'd-hit-that and you just can't reason with them and you can't live with 'em can't shoot 'em and she's obviously only dressed like that because she wants to get laid and if they can't stand the heat they should get out of the kitchen and if they can't play by the rules they don't belong here and if they can't take a little teasing they should quit and heh heh they're only good for fucking and cleaning and they're not fit to be leaders and they're too emotional to run a business and they just want to get their hands on our money and if they'd just stop overreacting and telling themselves they're victims they'd realize they actually have all the power in this society and white men aren't even allowed to do anything anymore and and and…

I get that you don't really mean that shit. I get that you're just talking out your ass.

But please listen, and please trust me on this one: you have probably, at some point in your life, engaged in that kind of talk with a man who really, truly hates women-to the extent of having beaten and/or raped at least one. And you probably didn't know which one he was.

And that guy? Thought you were on his side.

2008-03-10 09:22 | PHMT

Portly Dyke writes Robbing the Hearts of Men: "It's long been my view that sexism and misogyny do every bit as much damage to men as to women."  Honestly, it's mine, as well.

2007-12-01 11:33 | Link o'clock on Caturday.

At LJ, saveyoursanity writes on male privilege.

2007-10-12 08:47 | What about the men?

TroubleInChina asks, what about the men?

One of my greatest frustrations with internet discussions about Feminism and Feminist Issues is the response of "But what about the men?" The reason this response bothers me is not because I don't think there can and should be discussions about how various issues affect men, or how the gender roles in society affect men, but because very very rarely is the response an actual invitation to discussion. It's come up a few times here, I've responded a couple of times with "Why don't you write about it? I'll link!" and yet, there's been no great discussion posts about these issues brought to my attention by the people who bring them up.

That makes me sad. My choosing to write about women isn't because I don't care about men, but because I'm writing about women. But I do care about men, so let's seriously talk about how the system and its current gender roles do affect men.

This solidified two things for me, that had been wufting about in my brain for ages:

1) Feminism isn't against men, you ninnies, it's against the patriarchy.  That patriarchy that hurts men, as well.  So when someone (who isn't this poster, I mean) says "Well but so, what about the men?", it comes off like they're not paying the slightest bit of attention to what feminism deals with.

2) All of what TIC said.  If you want to see it written about, write about it.

Anyways.  That there is a good link, and you should be following it.

2007-06-28 08:43 | I would totally apply for a work visa.

Jillian's comment is fantastic to me today.  I shall reproduce it here, since I can.  (Edited a bit, but the square brackets make that clear.)

[Men's] argument is some sort of variation on "there's a killer that lurks in the heart of all (most, some) men, and women have an innate knack for bringing that killer out". Their argument stands in contrast to the argument that says "We've created a society that allows – and sometimes encourages – men to view women as chattel to such a degree that lots of them act like sick fucks, and even the ones who don't feel compelled to make excuses for those who do".

The second argument encourages both genders to work together to try to change that situation. The first argument – that all (most, some) men have killers lurking in their secret heart of hearts, just encourages women to stay as far away from men as humanly possible.

Do straight men think about this before they say these things? Because I can tell you that if I thought the first argument were correct, I would move to a women's only Lesbotopian enclave tomorrow, and never, ever leave it. And so would every woman in the whole country. And none of us would ever have sex with any of them ever again.

[...][The] sheer incongruity of the fact that STRAIGHT MEN make an argument whose natural conclusion is that no woman should ever have sex with a man again just never ceases to bowl me over.

The main post was about a couple of guys' reaction to the murder of Jessie Davis, allegedly by Bobby Cutts, Jr.  I really wouldn't advise reading any right-wing opinion posts about it, or any of the links that Jill provides at the main Feministe post, since doing so may drain you of your will to allow others to live.  I had to go read I Can Has Cheezburger after all that.

2007-04-13 22:30 | Unloading some linkage onto you.

I wanted to worry that I'm using this journal just as a repository for links… but then I stopped.  Because they're good goddamn links.

First, the fat-related links.

* [LJ] A friend sent me this link, about what being fat means to this one woman.

I take pleasure. I don't exist for the pleasure of others, I don't deny myself pleasure to please anybody. I give pleasure, when it pleases me to do so, but I am not taken. When a lover said, "Wow, I can't believe you let me do that to you, and I didn't even have to buy you jewelry," I snapped, "I didn't let you do that to me. I made you do that to me." When I'm hungry, I eat; if it's in public, it's not a performance of ordering half-helpings and the sauce on the side to show off that feminine denial of desire. I eat what I want. I eat like a man. And it's fucking ridiculous that eating is gendered in this culture, but it's a fucking ridiculous culture, okay?

I am a mover. I am not moved.

I am an agent. I am not an object.

* She who sent me the previous link runs The Rotund, a "Body Acceptance and Politics Blog".  I absolutely highly recommend this blog.

* Junk Food Science – a terrific blog about "the truth about food, fat and health".

Next, a feminism-related link.

* At Pandagon, Chris Clarke writes How not to be an asshole: a guide for men.  I can't single out a line or three that I love; I love it all.

2006-11-26 16:01 | Ahahahahaha.

"I mean, what kind of privileges do straight white men ever get?"

"What about men's suffering?"

"That double-standard is racism against whites!"